Tag: mid-month

Movement

February 15th, 2026

The word for this month is movement.

Not progress.
Not productivity.
Just movement.

The first half of February has felt like being physically away but mentally unsettled.

I handed over my work responsibilities to my colleague before going on my annual vacation, and instead of feeling relief, I felt… small. Like I wasn’t competent enough. Like stepping back meant I wasn’t doing my best.

It’s strange how easily responsibility becomes identity.

When I’m not holding everything together, I start questioning whether I ever was.

That feeling followed me into my break. I should be resting, but part of me keeps replaying work scenarios in my head. It’s hard to fully enjoy stillness when your mind insists on moving.

And yet — there has been another kind of movement.

I’ve been active. Walking more. Closing my activity rings. Choosing motion over stagnation. There’s something grounding about it — proving to myself that I can move my body even when my thoughts feel stuck. It’s simple, measurable, almost comforting.

Being home has stirred something else too. I missed my friends more than I expected. The kind of missing that makes you wonder if maybe relocation isn’t just a distant idea but a real pull. Being around them feels easy. Natural. Like a version of myself I don’t have to manage.

And then there’s family.

Why is being with family both comforting and exhausting?

Why does love sometimes come with tension? I haven’t figured that out yet. Maybe movement also means accepting that relationships don’t stay static — they shift, stretch, and sometimes press against old patterns.

So this mid-month update isn’t about achievement.

It’s about noticing the shifts.
I moved roles.
I moved locations.
I moved my body.
And maybe, quietly, I’m moving toward clarity too.

I don’t know what the second half of February will look like. But if this month is about movement, then even discomfort counts.

Because staying aware is still a form of forward motion.

For now, that’s enough.
Not Lost, Just Tired

January 15th, 2026

I know where I’m supposed to be going.
That’s not the problem.

The problem is the energy it takes to get there.

I started this month with intentions — the good kind. Better habits. Small routines. The usual promises we make to ourselves when we want to believe things will be different. Fifteen days in, I’ve barely kept up with any of them. Not consistently. Not “religiously,” as I told myself I would.

And it’s frustrating.
Deflating, even.

Because the awareness is there. The plan is there. The want is there. What’s missing is the fuel. The part of me that’s supposed to move without needing to be dragged.

Some days I try anyway. Other days I don’t. And I’m caught between being annoyed at myself and feeling too tired to care. Angry, but not enough to do anything dramatic about it. Disappointed, but familiar with the feeling.

This isn’t a crisis.
It’s not a breakthrough either.

It’s that dull, uncomfortable middle where progress feels microscopic and effort feels loud. Where you’re doing “something,” but it never feels like enough.

So this is the update: I’m not lost. I’m just tired of starting over in my head while my body refuses to keep up. I’ll try again tomorrow — or I won’t. Either way, I’m still here. Still aware. Still breathing in the space between what I know and what I can actually do.

For now, that has to count for something.

Or whatever…

Tag: mid-month

Movement

Not Lost, Just Tired